Is this co-worker relationship salvageable?
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Ok, I'll try to summarise the last several months of my experience in a few paragraphs.
I've been at my company for a little over 18 months. At first I entered as a junior developer, since I only had 2 years experience. After around 6 months, my line-manager (call him Steve), offered me a senior position, as they had interviewed many people for it and had not filled it. I told him I would accept as long as he promised to train me up, as I felt I was not suitably qualified at the time. Until this point, myself, Steve and a couple of the others were all friends, having a good time at work and doing social things outside the office.
Then everything changed. I don't know why, but I think Steve regretted giving me the position. He began speaking to me in unacceptable ways, i.e. swearing, barking orders at me and criticising everything I did, often verging on basically calling me stupid. The training he provided was basically writing code in front of me really fast. I didn't pick much up this way, but could tell he was trying to teach, so felt bad to say anything.
I kept a log of all of this and eventually, after 6 months of it, went to HR. I made a formal complaint about him and submitted details of exactly what he had said to me with times and dates and even a couple of witness' within the team.
HR investigated the case for several weeks, (during which time I had no work, as they said I could not work with Steve during the investigation, so I had nothing to do for 10 weeks, but still getting paid).
The outcome is that HR are doing nothing and that none of my claims can be upheld. Basically, he lied about everything, saying he didn't speak to me like that and shockingly, my colleagues lied for him as well, saying they never heard anything.
So now I'm in a position where I have no work, and he is refusing to accept meeting invites from me now the investigation is over to try and get some work and basically just move forward.
How can I salvage/repair this situation and co-worker relationship?
Before anyone suggests it, yes my line-manager has a manager of his own, unfortunately they are very good friends outside of work, so I've tried that route with no success.
united-kingdom manager software-development
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up vote
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Ok, I'll try to summarise the last several months of my experience in a few paragraphs.
I've been at my company for a little over 18 months. At first I entered as a junior developer, since I only had 2 years experience. After around 6 months, my line-manager (call him Steve), offered me a senior position, as they had interviewed many people for it and had not filled it. I told him I would accept as long as he promised to train me up, as I felt I was not suitably qualified at the time. Until this point, myself, Steve and a couple of the others were all friends, having a good time at work and doing social things outside the office.
Then everything changed. I don't know why, but I think Steve regretted giving me the position. He began speaking to me in unacceptable ways, i.e. swearing, barking orders at me and criticising everything I did, often verging on basically calling me stupid. The training he provided was basically writing code in front of me really fast. I didn't pick much up this way, but could tell he was trying to teach, so felt bad to say anything.
I kept a log of all of this and eventually, after 6 months of it, went to HR. I made a formal complaint about him and submitted details of exactly what he had said to me with times and dates and even a couple of witness' within the team.
HR investigated the case for several weeks, (during which time I had no work, as they said I could not work with Steve during the investigation, so I had nothing to do for 10 weeks, but still getting paid).
The outcome is that HR are doing nothing and that none of my claims can be upheld. Basically, he lied about everything, saying he didn't speak to me like that and shockingly, my colleagues lied for him as well, saying they never heard anything.
So now I'm in a position where I have no work, and he is refusing to accept meeting invites from me now the investigation is over to try and get some work and basically just move forward.
How can I salvage/repair this situation and co-worker relationship?
Before anyone suggests it, yes my line-manager has a manager of his own, unfortunately they are very good friends outside of work, so I've tried that route with no success.
united-kingdom manager software-development
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4
@Cloud well, in your question you don't mention any attempts of "sorting it out". In fact, your words "I didn't pick much up this way, but could tell he was trying to teach, so felt bad to say anything" explicitly contradict it.
– IMil
22 hours ago
6
What country? Employment laws may be relevant.
– user
15 hours ago
@user OP has indicated on Aviation (specifically in LAPL vs PPL - Which is more suitable?) on Oct 5 '18 that they were in the UK. So this seems very likely to be UK.
– a CVn
6 hours ago
I don't want to sound like a jerk, but it isn't shocking that your coworkers took your boss's side over yours. Think about what they have to gain by picking your side (not much) and what they have to lose if they go against Steve (their job, mortgage, etc.) And if this site could make a shirt for its members, it would probably say "HR IS NOT YOUR FRIEND" in big bold letters. And the truth is, your coworkers are only your friends insofar as it is convenient to them. This comment is quite broad, but contains a valuable lesson that unfortunately you had to learn the hard way =(
– corsiKa
50 mins ago
add a comment |
up vote
28
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up vote
28
down vote
favorite
Ok, I'll try to summarise the last several months of my experience in a few paragraphs.
I've been at my company for a little over 18 months. At first I entered as a junior developer, since I only had 2 years experience. After around 6 months, my line-manager (call him Steve), offered me a senior position, as they had interviewed many people for it and had not filled it. I told him I would accept as long as he promised to train me up, as I felt I was not suitably qualified at the time. Until this point, myself, Steve and a couple of the others were all friends, having a good time at work and doing social things outside the office.
Then everything changed. I don't know why, but I think Steve regretted giving me the position. He began speaking to me in unacceptable ways, i.e. swearing, barking orders at me and criticising everything I did, often verging on basically calling me stupid. The training he provided was basically writing code in front of me really fast. I didn't pick much up this way, but could tell he was trying to teach, so felt bad to say anything.
I kept a log of all of this and eventually, after 6 months of it, went to HR. I made a formal complaint about him and submitted details of exactly what he had said to me with times and dates and even a couple of witness' within the team.
HR investigated the case for several weeks, (during which time I had no work, as they said I could not work with Steve during the investigation, so I had nothing to do for 10 weeks, but still getting paid).
The outcome is that HR are doing nothing and that none of my claims can be upheld. Basically, he lied about everything, saying he didn't speak to me like that and shockingly, my colleagues lied for him as well, saying they never heard anything.
So now I'm in a position where I have no work, and he is refusing to accept meeting invites from me now the investigation is over to try and get some work and basically just move forward.
How can I salvage/repair this situation and co-worker relationship?
Before anyone suggests it, yes my line-manager has a manager of his own, unfortunately they are very good friends outside of work, so I've tried that route with no success.
united-kingdom manager software-development
New contributor
Cloud is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
Ok, I'll try to summarise the last several months of my experience in a few paragraphs.
I've been at my company for a little over 18 months. At first I entered as a junior developer, since I only had 2 years experience. After around 6 months, my line-manager (call him Steve), offered me a senior position, as they had interviewed many people for it and had not filled it. I told him I would accept as long as he promised to train me up, as I felt I was not suitably qualified at the time. Until this point, myself, Steve and a couple of the others were all friends, having a good time at work and doing social things outside the office.
Then everything changed. I don't know why, but I think Steve regretted giving me the position. He began speaking to me in unacceptable ways, i.e. swearing, barking orders at me and criticising everything I did, often verging on basically calling me stupid. The training he provided was basically writing code in front of me really fast. I didn't pick much up this way, but could tell he was trying to teach, so felt bad to say anything.
I kept a log of all of this and eventually, after 6 months of it, went to HR. I made a formal complaint about him and submitted details of exactly what he had said to me with times and dates and even a couple of witness' within the team.
HR investigated the case for several weeks, (during which time I had no work, as they said I could not work with Steve during the investigation, so I had nothing to do for 10 weeks, but still getting paid).
The outcome is that HR are doing nothing and that none of my claims can be upheld. Basically, he lied about everything, saying he didn't speak to me like that and shockingly, my colleagues lied for him as well, saying they never heard anything.
So now I'm in a position where I have no work, and he is refusing to accept meeting invites from me now the investigation is over to try and get some work and basically just move forward.
How can I salvage/repair this situation and co-worker relationship?
Before anyone suggests it, yes my line-manager has a manager of his own, unfortunately they are very good friends outside of work, so I've tried that route with no success.
united-kingdom manager software-development
united-kingdom manager software-development
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edited 1 hour ago
a CVn
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4
@Cloud well, in your question you don't mention any attempts of "sorting it out". In fact, your words "I didn't pick much up this way, but could tell he was trying to teach, so felt bad to say anything" explicitly contradict it.
– IMil
22 hours ago
6
What country? Employment laws may be relevant.
– user
15 hours ago
@user OP has indicated on Aviation (specifically in LAPL vs PPL - Which is more suitable?) on Oct 5 '18 that they were in the UK. So this seems very likely to be UK.
– a CVn
6 hours ago
I don't want to sound like a jerk, but it isn't shocking that your coworkers took your boss's side over yours. Think about what they have to gain by picking your side (not much) and what they have to lose if they go against Steve (their job, mortgage, etc.) And if this site could make a shirt for its members, it would probably say "HR IS NOT YOUR FRIEND" in big bold letters. And the truth is, your coworkers are only your friends insofar as it is convenient to them. This comment is quite broad, but contains a valuable lesson that unfortunately you had to learn the hard way =(
– corsiKa
50 mins ago
add a comment |
4
@Cloud well, in your question you don't mention any attempts of "sorting it out". In fact, your words "I didn't pick much up this way, but could tell he was trying to teach, so felt bad to say anything" explicitly contradict it.
– IMil
22 hours ago
6
What country? Employment laws may be relevant.
– user
15 hours ago
@user OP has indicated on Aviation (specifically in LAPL vs PPL - Which is more suitable?) on Oct 5 '18 that they were in the UK. So this seems very likely to be UK.
– a CVn
6 hours ago
I don't want to sound like a jerk, but it isn't shocking that your coworkers took your boss's side over yours. Think about what they have to gain by picking your side (not much) and what they have to lose if they go against Steve (their job, mortgage, etc.) And if this site could make a shirt for its members, it would probably say "HR IS NOT YOUR FRIEND" in big bold letters. And the truth is, your coworkers are only your friends insofar as it is convenient to them. This comment is quite broad, but contains a valuable lesson that unfortunately you had to learn the hard way =(
– corsiKa
50 mins ago
4
4
@Cloud well, in your question you don't mention any attempts of "sorting it out". In fact, your words "I didn't pick much up this way, but could tell he was trying to teach, so felt bad to say anything" explicitly contradict it.
– IMil
22 hours ago
@Cloud well, in your question you don't mention any attempts of "sorting it out". In fact, your words "I didn't pick much up this way, but could tell he was trying to teach, so felt bad to say anything" explicitly contradict it.
– IMil
22 hours ago
6
6
What country? Employment laws may be relevant.
– user
15 hours ago
What country? Employment laws may be relevant.
– user
15 hours ago
@user OP has indicated on Aviation (specifically in LAPL vs PPL - Which is more suitable?) on Oct 5 '18 that they were in the UK. So this seems very likely to be UK.
– a CVn
6 hours ago
@user OP has indicated on Aviation (specifically in LAPL vs PPL - Which is more suitable?) on Oct 5 '18 that they were in the UK. So this seems very likely to be UK.
– a CVn
6 hours ago
I don't want to sound like a jerk, but it isn't shocking that your coworkers took your boss's side over yours. Think about what they have to gain by picking your side (not much) and what they have to lose if they go against Steve (their job, mortgage, etc.) And if this site could make a shirt for its members, it would probably say "HR IS NOT YOUR FRIEND" in big bold letters. And the truth is, your coworkers are only your friends insofar as it is convenient to them. This comment is quite broad, but contains a valuable lesson that unfortunately you had to learn the hard way =(
– corsiKa
50 mins ago
I don't want to sound like a jerk, but it isn't shocking that your coworkers took your boss's side over yours. Think about what they have to gain by picking your side (not much) and what they have to lose if they go against Steve (their job, mortgage, etc.) And if this site could make a shirt for its members, it would probably say "HR IS NOT YOUR FRIEND" in big bold letters. And the truth is, your coworkers are only your friends insofar as it is convenient to them. This comment is quite broad, but contains a valuable lesson that unfortunately you had to learn the hard way =(
– corsiKa
50 mins ago
add a comment |
9 Answers
9
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up vote
39
down vote
accepted
Given the limited information here, my conclusion is that you drew the short stick on an internal power play.
Steve definitely set you up to fail as a senior dev. He promoted you to the position knowing you lack the hard skills necessary to do the job, he did not properly train you, and then he used your lack of skills to motivate his decision to not work with you. I don't know what his motives are, but the way you tell the story, it's pretty clear to me he was harassing you so he would get rid of you.
Your failing lays in not realising you were being set up and not taking action in a timely manner. The second Steve started "training" you and you couldn't understand what he was doing is when you should have told (in writing) your manager or Steve's manager that you are not receiving proper training and you cannot be expected to complete your tasks.
Furthermore, Steve's frustration with you grew as he probably saw you are thick skinned and his insults/harassment aren't working.
Your next mistake is taking things up with HR. HR is not there to protect you from Steve's bullying, but to protect the company's interest. It was HR's conclusion that Steve's work is more important than yours, so their internal investigation came out blank. Not that it matters anyway, you are now flagged as a problem employee. Next time someone has to leave, guess whose turn it will be.
A common way to convince an employee to leave is to take away all his usual tasks and replace them with what basically amounts to worthless junk. We had a case in my country where an employee got relegated to shredding paper so she would leave the company. To me it looks like your employer is trying to get rid of you by not giving you tasks and waiting for you to get bored and leave. Or fire you whenever it suits them because you're not being productive or some made-up reason so you won't sue them for unlawful termination.
So in conclusion, Steve won his little game, you are working in a dysfunctional company which is an unfair employer that only cares about Steve and Steve's gang's happiness and is willing to sideline anyone Steve doesn't like. And Steve HATES you.
Your choices are rather limited.
1: You make it up to Steve. Apparently his happiness matters in the company more than facts. Make Steve happy and you'll be back to your old tasks in no time.
2: Realise you are wasting your time in this company and start looking for a new job.
3: Continue in the current situation and wait to become the equivalent of a human paper shredder. Until they find a good reason to fire you.
30
I think that the behaviour of manager Steve has definitely contributed to OP's problems. But a lot of the conclusions that assign motivations and beliefs here seem a little hasty without additional information e.g. "Steve definitely set you up to fail as a senior dev." Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity etc . . . perhaps Steve really fancied himself as a wise old teacher, and coped badly when he realised it wasn't working
– Neil Slater
yesterday
2
I concur with this answer. It reads like 'Steve' already decided to get rid of the author before the promotion was made. The real reason will probably never surface.
– Erwin
yesterday
5
"It was HR's conclusion that Steve's work is more important than yours, so their internal investigation came out blank." I think it may be a bit much to claim that without proof. It could be as simple as they did not have evidence to take action against him. Honestly, I can't see HR directly basing a decision off that, especially if OP had it documented well; because then they would be leaving a potentially huge liability. HR probably didn't want to take action against Steve; but I would say that would have been equally influenced by how much evidence OP had.
– JMac
yesterday
Yeah, while the answer is correct in the actions to be taken, there could be dozens of reasons for "Steve" to act that way. What if he truly wanted to help the OP, but just before training learned his partner has a terminal illness, which broke his morale, and made him act in an uncharacteristic manner? It simply happens sometimes. I'm not saying my theory is better than yours, but starting your answer with "limited information", but then being able to say exactly what is happening, is kinda contradictory :/. Doesn't change that the actions to take, or mistakes called out are still correct
– Patrice
11 hours ago
3
Somehow I'm not surprised that OP accepted the answer that basically says OP's only fault was not seeing through evil Management's and hateful Steve's nefarious scheme.
– kapex
10 hours ago
|
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up vote
123
down vote
You launched a formal complaint complete with witnesses and documentation which was investigated for 10 weeks while you were paid for doing nothing, and then your complaints were found to be groundless, even your witnesses did not back you up.
Is this co-worker relationship salvageable?
No. You put multiple people into a difficult position. Things will never return to how they were. More constructive to worry about being forced out altogether. You should have spent the 10 weeks job searching, suggest you get onto that asap.
28
+1. The details of who did what are irrelevant at this point. Chances are Steve could now be refusing meeting invites to set you up for a PIP and then dismissal, and having already gone to HR with one complaint that didn't work out, you're unlikely to be able to fight that internally. Much better to leave on your own accord than be fired.
– berry120
yesterday
4
Brief advice is the best kind. No point trying to do the impossible, well you can but you still need to search for a new job.
– goamn
yesterday
You might try to have a chat with Steve, after you find a new job. make it very clear that you are not trying to blame him for anything, but asking him only about the time before you went to HR and how you could have acted differently, in order that you can do better in future. Put correctly, he might be helpful.
– Mawg
17 hours ago
3
@Mawg I am not sure who are you addressing with the comment though "make it very clear that you are not trying to blame him [Steve] for anything" seems false. Submitting a documented case to HR dept is blaming someone for something... with proofs, I don't see how you can say otherwise.
– luk32
15 hours ago
You are correct about that. Maybe, to rephrase, when the OP approaches Steve he can just say that he doesn't want an argument, or similar?
– Mawg
15 hours ago
|
show 1 more comment
up vote
34
down vote
Then everything changed. I don't know why, but I think Steve regretted
giving me the position.
I'm guessing there's more to this than just a sudden change of attitude. It's unfortunate you didn't talk to Steve to find out why.
How can I salvage/repair this situation and co-worker relationship?
Before anyone suggests it, yes my line-manager has a manager of his
own, unfortunately they are very good friends outside of work, so I've
tried that route with no success.
You could try talking with him and seeing if you can determine why he changed. Perhaps you have something to apologize for here. If so, it would be a good time to do that now. But your relationship may already be beyond the point of repair.
It appears that instead of talking to him directly, you chose to create a 6 month log and then took it to HR as a formal complaint. And apparently, you also went over his head and tried to complain to his boss.
It's not clear why you chose that route first rather than trying to repair the relationship, but what's done is done.
You might need to watch your back now, and start thinking about finding a new job or at least a transfer to work with another manager.
27
"It's unfortunate you didn't talk to Steve to find out why." This doesn't have enough stress. Going to HR should be a last ditch attempt; first port of call should always be talk to the person directly as they it could even just be venting other issues onto you.
– UKMonkey
yesterday
4
@UKMonkey Going to HR for interpersonal advice can be sensible depending on where it is and how exactly HR operates. It's the logging of a formal complaint with evidence and witnesses that's always burning bridges.
– Peter
yesterday
2
OP said in a comment that they did talk to Steve first.
– Konrad Rudolph
13 hours ago
3
@KonradRudolph - I don't see such a comment. Maybe it was deleted. Seems like an important piece of data that could have been in the question.
– Joe Strazzere
12 hours ago
@JoeStrazzere Yes, apparently it was deleted. Annoying.
– Konrad Rudolph
10 hours ago
add a comment |
up vote
10
down vote
The other answers suggest you've made a mistake at some point. I tend to disagree: the situation was lost when Steve thought he could teach you to become a senior programmer and then couldn't keep his temper as he found out he couldn't do it.
Being a good programmer
...doesn't automatically mean you have good teaching skills.
I'm a programmer myself. I teach in a hackerspace in my spare time and on a few days a year in a school. Teaching needs time and patience. Also you need a whole different skill-set. Just being able to program won't cut it. If your student is to make big steps, you need to prepare your lessons.
Steve tried to recruit because he needs more people on his team to help doing his job. So when he started to teach you instead, it meant he would have even less time to do his 'real' job.
He must have found out that teaching someone else isn't as easy as he hoped and, as his frustration grew, he began to loose his temper.
Don't take it to hard on yourself
It probably isn't even anyone's fault. Take a deep breath. Look around for a new job. Take care it is the kind job you always wanted to do. Take care your future colleagues are the kind of people you want to work with.
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3
This is actually what I think happened too. Thanks.
– Cloud
15 hours ago
1
In my experience, there is no amount of training that will convert a junior dev into a senior. Some people seem to be born as senior devs, and some people drag themselves there through hard experience. But "training" only results in someone knowing how to do more tasks, not having the ability to generalize to other tasks that they weren't trained in. (So I think the mistake was either/both parties thinking training => senior dev.)
– user3067860
9 hours ago
@user3067860 I don't think anyone's born a senior dev, but seniors become seniors due to varying mixtures of aptitude and experience. Experience can help to improve aptitude, but some people have enough innate aptitude to develop their skills and knowledge more quickly than others, and as such the experience factor is left less important. Someone with less aptitude will require more experience. Someone with barely any aptitude at all is not likely to become a useful senior dev in this century, but given infinite time they could probably manage it.
– Lightness Races in Orbit
1 hour ago
@user3067860 By that I mean you are largely correct - you can't "train" someone to be a senior by sitting with them and coding, not at all. If the individual is highly able and motivated then they can pick up what they need quickly ... but they were going to do that anyway, with or without Steve sitting next to them!
– Lightness Races in Orbit
1 hour ago
add a comment |
up vote
7
down vote
OP I'm sorry but I think that the "investigation" was basically over in a week. You were given 9 weeks to begin searching for a new job, which you did not take the hint for. I say this because software developers are not a resource that is wasted lightly.
Update your resume and start looking immediately, additionally note how your other coworkers are treating you; you'll need to get references from someone at this company who is not Steve or in the HR hierarchy who have dismissed your claims of harassment.
1
This might be a good time to switch to contracting, where references are not asked for (in my few decades of experience, but YMMV).
– Mawg
17 hours ago
add a comment |
up vote
5
down vote
Unfortunately you may need to find a new job now, but at least your job title has "senior" in it and you have plenty of time to search. Remember that you only need to put "Senior Software Developer at Company X 20XX-present" on your CV.
You mention that you are logging your boss' behaviour, so keep doing that. In particular your requests for meetings, so that if they try to claim your performance is poor later you can cite the lack of work and repeated requests for it as the reason. At least in Europe they can't fire you when the boss is doing that to you, it would be constructive dismissal.
As to salvaging your current situation, could you ask for an internal transfer? If not, your only real option is to go back to HR and complain about a hostile work environment where you are unable to get any work or progress your career, due to retaliation. That is a serious situation, you could escalate it to a tribunal, so they should deal with it in a way that doesn't disadvantage you.
add a comment |
up vote
2
down vote
Your manager acted petty (or maybe you did not understand the situation completely but let's assume you are right), but your question is unjustified now. If you wanted to salvage the relation, that should have been your first approach rather than going to HR. By going to HR you made an implicit judgment that the relationship was not salvageable in the first place.
However, even though you could (and should) have picked a better response to your manager's behavior, I don't think it is all only your fault.
It is unfortunate that your colleagues couched when asked formally by HR. Also, it is unfortunate that your manager's manager preferred taking his friend's side rather than taking the right side.
Since the relation is not salvageable unless someone has a sudden change of heart and this guy in question is your manager, the best direction is to get a new job.
It may be bitter tasting but it is the next best thing that can happen to you.
add a comment |
up vote
2
down vote
Check the work legislation of your country. In Spain, an employer must provide adequate tasks to their employees. If your employer is not providing you any task, this could be consider as mobbing -which is what they are actually doing, to force you to leave the company. An employee can claim to have work.
Of course, you are in a bad position. If I were in your situation and this was a small company, I would be thinking about leaving. But if this is a big company, maybe my dream company, then being moved to another department would be ok for me. If you speak with HR and expose this as a case of mobbing, then they may take you more seriously. No company wants to be in the media because of mobbing. On the other hand, if you are thinking about quitting, this can give you a better position to negotiate an exit with a compensation.
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0
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You could just do one last thing. Go to a doctor, get a sick leave for a few month because of whatever reason and look for alternatives.
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9 Answers
9
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oldest
votes
9 Answers
9
active
oldest
votes
active
oldest
votes
active
oldest
votes
up vote
39
down vote
accepted
Given the limited information here, my conclusion is that you drew the short stick on an internal power play.
Steve definitely set you up to fail as a senior dev. He promoted you to the position knowing you lack the hard skills necessary to do the job, he did not properly train you, and then he used your lack of skills to motivate his decision to not work with you. I don't know what his motives are, but the way you tell the story, it's pretty clear to me he was harassing you so he would get rid of you.
Your failing lays in not realising you were being set up and not taking action in a timely manner. The second Steve started "training" you and you couldn't understand what he was doing is when you should have told (in writing) your manager or Steve's manager that you are not receiving proper training and you cannot be expected to complete your tasks.
Furthermore, Steve's frustration with you grew as he probably saw you are thick skinned and his insults/harassment aren't working.
Your next mistake is taking things up with HR. HR is not there to protect you from Steve's bullying, but to protect the company's interest. It was HR's conclusion that Steve's work is more important than yours, so their internal investigation came out blank. Not that it matters anyway, you are now flagged as a problem employee. Next time someone has to leave, guess whose turn it will be.
A common way to convince an employee to leave is to take away all his usual tasks and replace them with what basically amounts to worthless junk. We had a case in my country where an employee got relegated to shredding paper so she would leave the company. To me it looks like your employer is trying to get rid of you by not giving you tasks and waiting for you to get bored and leave. Or fire you whenever it suits them because you're not being productive or some made-up reason so you won't sue them for unlawful termination.
So in conclusion, Steve won his little game, you are working in a dysfunctional company which is an unfair employer that only cares about Steve and Steve's gang's happiness and is willing to sideline anyone Steve doesn't like. And Steve HATES you.
Your choices are rather limited.
1: You make it up to Steve. Apparently his happiness matters in the company more than facts. Make Steve happy and you'll be back to your old tasks in no time.
2: Realise you are wasting your time in this company and start looking for a new job.
3: Continue in the current situation and wait to become the equivalent of a human paper shredder. Until they find a good reason to fire you.
30
I think that the behaviour of manager Steve has definitely contributed to OP's problems. But a lot of the conclusions that assign motivations and beliefs here seem a little hasty without additional information e.g. "Steve definitely set you up to fail as a senior dev." Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity etc . . . perhaps Steve really fancied himself as a wise old teacher, and coped badly when he realised it wasn't working
– Neil Slater
yesterday
2
I concur with this answer. It reads like 'Steve' already decided to get rid of the author before the promotion was made. The real reason will probably never surface.
– Erwin
yesterday
5
"It was HR's conclusion that Steve's work is more important than yours, so their internal investigation came out blank." I think it may be a bit much to claim that without proof. It could be as simple as they did not have evidence to take action against him. Honestly, I can't see HR directly basing a decision off that, especially if OP had it documented well; because then they would be leaving a potentially huge liability. HR probably didn't want to take action against Steve; but I would say that would have been equally influenced by how much evidence OP had.
– JMac
yesterday
Yeah, while the answer is correct in the actions to be taken, there could be dozens of reasons for "Steve" to act that way. What if he truly wanted to help the OP, but just before training learned his partner has a terminal illness, which broke his morale, and made him act in an uncharacteristic manner? It simply happens sometimes. I'm not saying my theory is better than yours, but starting your answer with "limited information", but then being able to say exactly what is happening, is kinda contradictory :/. Doesn't change that the actions to take, or mistakes called out are still correct
– Patrice
11 hours ago
3
Somehow I'm not surprised that OP accepted the answer that basically says OP's only fault was not seeing through evil Management's and hateful Steve's nefarious scheme.
– kapex
10 hours ago
|
show 2 more comments
up vote
39
down vote
accepted
Given the limited information here, my conclusion is that you drew the short stick on an internal power play.
Steve definitely set you up to fail as a senior dev. He promoted you to the position knowing you lack the hard skills necessary to do the job, he did not properly train you, and then he used your lack of skills to motivate his decision to not work with you. I don't know what his motives are, but the way you tell the story, it's pretty clear to me he was harassing you so he would get rid of you.
Your failing lays in not realising you were being set up and not taking action in a timely manner. The second Steve started "training" you and you couldn't understand what he was doing is when you should have told (in writing) your manager or Steve's manager that you are not receiving proper training and you cannot be expected to complete your tasks.
Furthermore, Steve's frustration with you grew as he probably saw you are thick skinned and his insults/harassment aren't working.
Your next mistake is taking things up with HR. HR is not there to protect you from Steve's bullying, but to protect the company's interest. It was HR's conclusion that Steve's work is more important than yours, so their internal investigation came out blank. Not that it matters anyway, you are now flagged as a problem employee. Next time someone has to leave, guess whose turn it will be.
A common way to convince an employee to leave is to take away all his usual tasks and replace them with what basically amounts to worthless junk. We had a case in my country where an employee got relegated to shredding paper so she would leave the company. To me it looks like your employer is trying to get rid of you by not giving you tasks and waiting for you to get bored and leave. Or fire you whenever it suits them because you're not being productive or some made-up reason so you won't sue them for unlawful termination.
So in conclusion, Steve won his little game, you are working in a dysfunctional company which is an unfair employer that only cares about Steve and Steve's gang's happiness and is willing to sideline anyone Steve doesn't like. And Steve HATES you.
Your choices are rather limited.
1: You make it up to Steve. Apparently his happiness matters in the company more than facts. Make Steve happy and you'll be back to your old tasks in no time.
2: Realise you are wasting your time in this company and start looking for a new job.
3: Continue in the current situation and wait to become the equivalent of a human paper shredder. Until they find a good reason to fire you.
30
I think that the behaviour of manager Steve has definitely contributed to OP's problems. But a lot of the conclusions that assign motivations and beliefs here seem a little hasty without additional information e.g. "Steve definitely set you up to fail as a senior dev." Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity etc . . . perhaps Steve really fancied himself as a wise old teacher, and coped badly when he realised it wasn't working
– Neil Slater
yesterday
2
I concur with this answer. It reads like 'Steve' already decided to get rid of the author before the promotion was made. The real reason will probably never surface.
– Erwin
yesterday
5
"It was HR's conclusion that Steve's work is more important than yours, so their internal investigation came out blank." I think it may be a bit much to claim that without proof. It could be as simple as they did not have evidence to take action against him. Honestly, I can't see HR directly basing a decision off that, especially if OP had it documented well; because then they would be leaving a potentially huge liability. HR probably didn't want to take action against Steve; but I would say that would have been equally influenced by how much evidence OP had.
– JMac
yesterday
Yeah, while the answer is correct in the actions to be taken, there could be dozens of reasons for "Steve" to act that way. What if he truly wanted to help the OP, but just before training learned his partner has a terminal illness, which broke his morale, and made him act in an uncharacteristic manner? It simply happens sometimes. I'm not saying my theory is better than yours, but starting your answer with "limited information", but then being able to say exactly what is happening, is kinda contradictory :/. Doesn't change that the actions to take, or mistakes called out are still correct
– Patrice
11 hours ago
3
Somehow I'm not surprised that OP accepted the answer that basically says OP's only fault was not seeing through evil Management's and hateful Steve's nefarious scheme.
– kapex
10 hours ago
|
show 2 more comments
up vote
39
down vote
accepted
up vote
39
down vote
accepted
Given the limited information here, my conclusion is that you drew the short stick on an internal power play.
Steve definitely set you up to fail as a senior dev. He promoted you to the position knowing you lack the hard skills necessary to do the job, he did not properly train you, and then he used your lack of skills to motivate his decision to not work with you. I don't know what his motives are, but the way you tell the story, it's pretty clear to me he was harassing you so he would get rid of you.
Your failing lays in not realising you were being set up and not taking action in a timely manner. The second Steve started "training" you and you couldn't understand what he was doing is when you should have told (in writing) your manager or Steve's manager that you are not receiving proper training and you cannot be expected to complete your tasks.
Furthermore, Steve's frustration with you grew as he probably saw you are thick skinned and his insults/harassment aren't working.
Your next mistake is taking things up with HR. HR is not there to protect you from Steve's bullying, but to protect the company's interest. It was HR's conclusion that Steve's work is more important than yours, so their internal investigation came out blank. Not that it matters anyway, you are now flagged as a problem employee. Next time someone has to leave, guess whose turn it will be.
A common way to convince an employee to leave is to take away all his usual tasks and replace them with what basically amounts to worthless junk. We had a case in my country where an employee got relegated to shredding paper so she would leave the company. To me it looks like your employer is trying to get rid of you by not giving you tasks and waiting for you to get bored and leave. Or fire you whenever it suits them because you're not being productive or some made-up reason so you won't sue them for unlawful termination.
So in conclusion, Steve won his little game, you are working in a dysfunctional company which is an unfair employer that only cares about Steve and Steve's gang's happiness and is willing to sideline anyone Steve doesn't like. And Steve HATES you.
Your choices are rather limited.
1: You make it up to Steve. Apparently his happiness matters in the company more than facts. Make Steve happy and you'll be back to your old tasks in no time.
2: Realise you are wasting your time in this company and start looking for a new job.
3: Continue in the current situation and wait to become the equivalent of a human paper shredder. Until they find a good reason to fire you.
Given the limited information here, my conclusion is that you drew the short stick on an internal power play.
Steve definitely set you up to fail as a senior dev. He promoted you to the position knowing you lack the hard skills necessary to do the job, he did not properly train you, and then he used your lack of skills to motivate his decision to not work with you. I don't know what his motives are, but the way you tell the story, it's pretty clear to me he was harassing you so he would get rid of you.
Your failing lays in not realising you were being set up and not taking action in a timely manner. The second Steve started "training" you and you couldn't understand what he was doing is when you should have told (in writing) your manager or Steve's manager that you are not receiving proper training and you cannot be expected to complete your tasks.
Furthermore, Steve's frustration with you grew as he probably saw you are thick skinned and his insults/harassment aren't working.
Your next mistake is taking things up with HR. HR is not there to protect you from Steve's bullying, but to protect the company's interest. It was HR's conclusion that Steve's work is more important than yours, so their internal investigation came out blank. Not that it matters anyway, you are now flagged as a problem employee. Next time someone has to leave, guess whose turn it will be.
A common way to convince an employee to leave is to take away all his usual tasks and replace them with what basically amounts to worthless junk. We had a case in my country where an employee got relegated to shredding paper so she would leave the company. To me it looks like your employer is trying to get rid of you by not giving you tasks and waiting for you to get bored and leave. Or fire you whenever it suits them because you're not being productive or some made-up reason so you won't sue them for unlawful termination.
So in conclusion, Steve won his little game, you are working in a dysfunctional company which is an unfair employer that only cares about Steve and Steve's gang's happiness and is willing to sideline anyone Steve doesn't like. And Steve HATES you.
Your choices are rather limited.
1: You make it up to Steve. Apparently his happiness matters in the company more than facts. Make Steve happy and you'll be back to your old tasks in no time.
2: Realise you are wasting your time in this company and start looking for a new job.
3: Continue in the current situation and wait to become the equivalent of a human paper shredder. Until they find a good reason to fire you.
edited yesterday
Kat
2,72321118
2,72321118
answered yesterday
BoboDarph
2,3931416
2,3931416
30
I think that the behaviour of manager Steve has definitely contributed to OP's problems. But a lot of the conclusions that assign motivations and beliefs here seem a little hasty without additional information e.g. "Steve definitely set you up to fail as a senior dev." Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity etc . . . perhaps Steve really fancied himself as a wise old teacher, and coped badly when he realised it wasn't working
– Neil Slater
yesterday
2
I concur with this answer. It reads like 'Steve' already decided to get rid of the author before the promotion was made. The real reason will probably never surface.
– Erwin
yesterday
5
"It was HR's conclusion that Steve's work is more important than yours, so their internal investigation came out blank." I think it may be a bit much to claim that without proof. It could be as simple as they did not have evidence to take action against him. Honestly, I can't see HR directly basing a decision off that, especially if OP had it documented well; because then they would be leaving a potentially huge liability. HR probably didn't want to take action against Steve; but I would say that would have been equally influenced by how much evidence OP had.
– JMac
yesterday
Yeah, while the answer is correct in the actions to be taken, there could be dozens of reasons for "Steve" to act that way. What if he truly wanted to help the OP, but just before training learned his partner has a terminal illness, which broke his morale, and made him act in an uncharacteristic manner? It simply happens sometimes. I'm not saying my theory is better than yours, but starting your answer with "limited information", but then being able to say exactly what is happening, is kinda contradictory :/. Doesn't change that the actions to take, or mistakes called out are still correct
– Patrice
11 hours ago
3
Somehow I'm not surprised that OP accepted the answer that basically says OP's only fault was not seeing through evil Management's and hateful Steve's nefarious scheme.
– kapex
10 hours ago
|
show 2 more comments
30
I think that the behaviour of manager Steve has definitely contributed to OP's problems. But a lot of the conclusions that assign motivations and beliefs here seem a little hasty without additional information e.g. "Steve definitely set you up to fail as a senior dev." Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity etc . . . perhaps Steve really fancied himself as a wise old teacher, and coped badly when he realised it wasn't working
– Neil Slater
yesterday
2
I concur with this answer. It reads like 'Steve' already decided to get rid of the author before the promotion was made. The real reason will probably never surface.
– Erwin
yesterday
5
"It was HR's conclusion that Steve's work is more important than yours, so their internal investigation came out blank." I think it may be a bit much to claim that without proof. It could be as simple as they did not have evidence to take action against him. Honestly, I can't see HR directly basing a decision off that, especially if OP had it documented well; because then they would be leaving a potentially huge liability. HR probably didn't want to take action against Steve; but I would say that would have been equally influenced by how much evidence OP had.
– JMac
yesterday
Yeah, while the answer is correct in the actions to be taken, there could be dozens of reasons for "Steve" to act that way. What if he truly wanted to help the OP, but just before training learned his partner has a terminal illness, which broke his morale, and made him act in an uncharacteristic manner? It simply happens sometimes. I'm not saying my theory is better than yours, but starting your answer with "limited information", but then being able to say exactly what is happening, is kinda contradictory :/. Doesn't change that the actions to take, or mistakes called out are still correct
– Patrice
11 hours ago
3
Somehow I'm not surprised that OP accepted the answer that basically says OP's only fault was not seeing through evil Management's and hateful Steve's nefarious scheme.
– kapex
10 hours ago
30
30
I think that the behaviour of manager Steve has definitely contributed to OP's problems. But a lot of the conclusions that assign motivations and beliefs here seem a little hasty without additional information e.g. "Steve definitely set you up to fail as a senior dev." Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity etc . . . perhaps Steve really fancied himself as a wise old teacher, and coped badly when he realised it wasn't working
– Neil Slater
yesterday
I think that the behaviour of manager Steve has definitely contributed to OP's problems. But a lot of the conclusions that assign motivations and beliefs here seem a little hasty without additional information e.g. "Steve definitely set you up to fail as a senior dev." Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity etc . . . perhaps Steve really fancied himself as a wise old teacher, and coped badly when he realised it wasn't working
– Neil Slater
yesterday
2
2
I concur with this answer. It reads like 'Steve' already decided to get rid of the author before the promotion was made. The real reason will probably never surface.
– Erwin
yesterday
I concur with this answer. It reads like 'Steve' already decided to get rid of the author before the promotion was made. The real reason will probably never surface.
– Erwin
yesterday
5
5
"It was HR's conclusion that Steve's work is more important than yours, so their internal investigation came out blank." I think it may be a bit much to claim that without proof. It could be as simple as they did not have evidence to take action against him. Honestly, I can't see HR directly basing a decision off that, especially if OP had it documented well; because then they would be leaving a potentially huge liability. HR probably didn't want to take action against Steve; but I would say that would have been equally influenced by how much evidence OP had.
– JMac
yesterday
"It was HR's conclusion that Steve's work is more important than yours, so their internal investigation came out blank." I think it may be a bit much to claim that without proof. It could be as simple as they did not have evidence to take action against him. Honestly, I can't see HR directly basing a decision off that, especially if OP had it documented well; because then they would be leaving a potentially huge liability. HR probably didn't want to take action against Steve; but I would say that would have been equally influenced by how much evidence OP had.
– JMac
yesterday
Yeah, while the answer is correct in the actions to be taken, there could be dozens of reasons for "Steve" to act that way. What if he truly wanted to help the OP, but just before training learned his partner has a terminal illness, which broke his morale, and made him act in an uncharacteristic manner? It simply happens sometimes. I'm not saying my theory is better than yours, but starting your answer with "limited information", but then being able to say exactly what is happening, is kinda contradictory :/. Doesn't change that the actions to take, or mistakes called out are still correct
– Patrice
11 hours ago
Yeah, while the answer is correct in the actions to be taken, there could be dozens of reasons for "Steve" to act that way. What if he truly wanted to help the OP, but just before training learned his partner has a terminal illness, which broke his morale, and made him act in an uncharacteristic manner? It simply happens sometimes. I'm not saying my theory is better than yours, but starting your answer with "limited information", but then being able to say exactly what is happening, is kinda contradictory :/. Doesn't change that the actions to take, or mistakes called out are still correct
– Patrice
11 hours ago
3
3
Somehow I'm not surprised that OP accepted the answer that basically says OP's only fault was not seeing through evil Management's and hateful Steve's nefarious scheme.
– kapex
10 hours ago
Somehow I'm not surprised that OP accepted the answer that basically says OP's only fault was not seeing through evil Management's and hateful Steve's nefarious scheme.
– kapex
10 hours ago
|
show 2 more comments
up vote
123
down vote
You launched a formal complaint complete with witnesses and documentation which was investigated for 10 weeks while you were paid for doing nothing, and then your complaints were found to be groundless, even your witnesses did not back you up.
Is this co-worker relationship salvageable?
No. You put multiple people into a difficult position. Things will never return to how they were. More constructive to worry about being forced out altogether. You should have spent the 10 weeks job searching, suggest you get onto that asap.
28
+1. The details of who did what are irrelevant at this point. Chances are Steve could now be refusing meeting invites to set you up for a PIP and then dismissal, and having already gone to HR with one complaint that didn't work out, you're unlikely to be able to fight that internally. Much better to leave on your own accord than be fired.
– berry120
yesterday
4
Brief advice is the best kind. No point trying to do the impossible, well you can but you still need to search for a new job.
– goamn
yesterday
You might try to have a chat with Steve, after you find a new job. make it very clear that you are not trying to blame him for anything, but asking him only about the time before you went to HR and how you could have acted differently, in order that you can do better in future. Put correctly, he might be helpful.
– Mawg
17 hours ago
3
@Mawg I am not sure who are you addressing with the comment though "make it very clear that you are not trying to blame him [Steve] for anything" seems false. Submitting a documented case to HR dept is blaming someone for something... with proofs, I don't see how you can say otherwise.
– luk32
15 hours ago
You are correct about that. Maybe, to rephrase, when the OP approaches Steve he can just say that he doesn't want an argument, or similar?
– Mawg
15 hours ago
|
show 1 more comment
up vote
123
down vote
You launched a formal complaint complete with witnesses and documentation which was investigated for 10 weeks while you were paid for doing nothing, and then your complaints were found to be groundless, even your witnesses did not back you up.
Is this co-worker relationship salvageable?
No. You put multiple people into a difficult position. Things will never return to how they were. More constructive to worry about being forced out altogether. You should have spent the 10 weeks job searching, suggest you get onto that asap.
28
+1. The details of who did what are irrelevant at this point. Chances are Steve could now be refusing meeting invites to set you up for a PIP and then dismissal, and having already gone to HR with one complaint that didn't work out, you're unlikely to be able to fight that internally. Much better to leave on your own accord than be fired.
– berry120
yesterday
4
Brief advice is the best kind. No point trying to do the impossible, well you can but you still need to search for a new job.
– goamn
yesterday
You might try to have a chat with Steve, after you find a new job. make it very clear that you are not trying to blame him for anything, but asking him only about the time before you went to HR and how you could have acted differently, in order that you can do better in future. Put correctly, he might be helpful.
– Mawg
17 hours ago
3
@Mawg I am not sure who are you addressing with the comment though "make it very clear that you are not trying to blame him [Steve] for anything" seems false. Submitting a documented case to HR dept is blaming someone for something... with proofs, I don't see how you can say otherwise.
– luk32
15 hours ago
You are correct about that. Maybe, to rephrase, when the OP approaches Steve he can just say that he doesn't want an argument, or similar?
– Mawg
15 hours ago
|
show 1 more comment
up vote
123
down vote
up vote
123
down vote
You launched a formal complaint complete with witnesses and documentation which was investigated for 10 weeks while you were paid for doing nothing, and then your complaints were found to be groundless, even your witnesses did not back you up.
Is this co-worker relationship salvageable?
No. You put multiple people into a difficult position. Things will never return to how they were. More constructive to worry about being forced out altogether. You should have spent the 10 weeks job searching, suggest you get onto that asap.
You launched a formal complaint complete with witnesses and documentation which was investigated for 10 weeks while you were paid for doing nothing, and then your complaints were found to be groundless, even your witnesses did not back you up.
Is this co-worker relationship salvageable?
No. You put multiple people into a difficult position. Things will never return to how they were. More constructive to worry about being forced out altogether. You should have spent the 10 weeks job searching, suggest you get onto that asap.
answered yesterday
Kilisi
108k61242420
108k61242420
28
+1. The details of who did what are irrelevant at this point. Chances are Steve could now be refusing meeting invites to set you up for a PIP and then dismissal, and having already gone to HR with one complaint that didn't work out, you're unlikely to be able to fight that internally. Much better to leave on your own accord than be fired.
– berry120
yesterday
4
Brief advice is the best kind. No point trying to do the impossible, well you can but you still need to search for a new job.
– goamn
yesterday
You might try to have a chat with Steve, after you find a new job. make it very clear that you are not trying to blame him for anything, but asking him only about the time before you went to HR and how you could have acted differently, in order that you can do better in future. Put correctly, he might be helpful.
– Mawg
17 hours ago
3
@Mawg I am not sure who are you addressing with the comment though "make it very clear that you are not trying to blame him [Steve] for anything" seems false. Submitting a documented case to HR dept is blaming someone for something... with proofs, I don't see how you can say otherwise.
– luk32
15 hours ago
You are correct about that. Maybe, to rephrase, when the OP approaches Steve he can just say that he doesn't want an argument, or similar?
– Mawg
15 hours ago
|
show 1 more comment
28
+1. The details of who did what are irrelevant at this point. Chances are Steve could now be refusing meeting invites to set you up for a PIP and then dismissal, and having already gone to HR with one complaint that didn't work out, you're unlikely to be able to fight that internally. Much better to leave on your own accord than be fired.
– berry120
yesterday
4
Brief advice is the best kind. No point trying to do the impossible, well you can but you still need to search for a new job.
– goamn
yesterday
You might try to have a chat with Steve, after you find a new job. make it very clear that you are not trying to blame him for anything, but asking him only about the time before you went to HR and how you could have acted differently, in order that you can do better in future. Put correctly, he might be helpful.
– Mawg
17 hours ago
3
@Mawg I am not sure who are you addressing with the comment though "make it very clear that you are not trying to blame him [Steve] for anything" seems false. Submitting a documented case to HR dept is blaming someone for something... with proofs, I don't see how you can say otherwise.
– luk32
15 hours ago
You are correct about that. Maybe, to rephrase, when the OP approaches Steve he can just say that he doesn't want an argument, or similar?
– Mawg
15 hours ago
28
28
+1. The details of who did what are irrelevant at this point. Chances are Steve could now be refusing meeting invites to set you up for a PIP and then dismissal, and having already gone to HR with one complaint that didn't work out, you're unlikely to be able to fight that internally. Much better to leave on your own accord than be fired.
– berry120
yesterday
+1. The details of who did what are irrelevant at this point. Chances are Steve could now be refusing meeting invites to set you up for a PIP and then dismissal, and having already gone to HR with one complaint that didn't work out, you're unlikely to be able to fight that internally. Much better to leave on your own accord than be fired.
– berry120
yesterday
4
4
Brief advice is the best kind. No point trying to do the impossible, well you can but you still need to search for a new job.
– goamn
yesterday
Brief advice is the best kind. No point trying to do the impossible, well you can but you still need to search for a new job.
– goamn
yesterday
You might try to have a chat with Steve, after you find a new job. make it very clear that you are not trying to blame him for anything, but asking him only about the time before you went to HR and how you could have acted differently, in order that you can do better in future. Put correctly, he might be helpful.
– Mawg
17 hours ago
You might try to have a chat with Steve, after you find a new job. make it very clear that you are not trying to blame him for anything, but asking him only about the time before you went to HR and how you could have acted differently, in order that you can do better in future. Put correctly, he might be helpful.
– Mawg
17 hours ago
3
3
@Mawg I am not sure who are you addressing with the comment though "make it very clear that you are not trying to blame him [Steve] for anything" seems false. Submitting a documented case to HR dept is blaming someone for something... with proofs, I don't see how you can say otherwise.
– luk32
15 hours ago
@Mawg I am not sure who are you addressing with the comment though "make it very clear that you are not trying to blame him [Steve] for anything" seems false. Submitting a documented case to HR dept is blaming someone for something... with proofs, I don't see how you can say otherwise.
– luk32
15 hours ago
You are correct about that. Maybe, to rephrase, when the OP approaches Steve he can just say that he doesn't want an argument, or similar?
– Mawg
15 hours ago
You are correct about that. Maybe, to rephrase, when the OP approaches Steve he can just say that he doesn't want an argument, or similar?
– Mawg
15 hours ago
|
show 1 more comment
up vote
34
down vote
Then everything changed. I don't know why, but I think Steve regretted
giving me the position.
I'm guessing there's more to this than just a sudden change of attitude. It's unfortunate you didn't talk to Steve to find out why.
How can I salvage/repair this situation and co-worker relationship?
Before anyone suggests it, yes my line-manager has a manager of his
own, unfortunately they are very good friends outside of work, so I've
tried that route with no success.
You could try talking with him and seeing if you can determine why he changed. Perhaps you have something to apologize for here. If so, it would be a good time to do that now. But your relationship may already be beyond the point of repair.
It appears that instead of talking to him directly, you chose to create a 6 month log and then took it to HR as a formal complaint. And apparently, you also went over his head and tried to complain to his boss.
It's not clear why you chose that route first rather than trying to repair the relationship, but what's done is done.
You might need to watch your back now, and start thinking about finding a new job or at least a transfer to work with another manager.
27
"It's unfortunate you didn't talk to Steve to find out why." This doesn't have enough stress. Going to HR should be a last ditch attempt; first port of call should always be talk to the person directly as they it could even just be venting other issues onto you.
– UKMonkey
yesterday
4
@UKMonkey Going to HR for interpersonal advice can be sensible depending on where it is and how exactly HR operates. It's the logging of a formal complaint with evidence and witnesses that's always burning bridges.
– Peter
yesterday
2
OP said in a comment that they did talk to Steve first.
– Konrad Rudolph
13 hours ago
3
@KonradRudolph - I don't see such a comment. Maybe it was deleted. Seems like an important piece of data that could have been in the question.
– Joe Strazzere
12 hours ago
@JoeStrazzere Yes, apparently it was deleted. Annoying.
– Konrad Rudolph
10 hours ago
add a comment |
up vote
34
down vote
Then everything changed. I don't know why, but I think Steve regretted
giving me the position.
I'm guessing there's more to this than just a sudden change of attitude. It's unfortunate you didn't talk to Steve to find out why.
How can I salvage/repair this situation and co-worker relationship?
Before anyone suggests it, yes my line-manager has a manager of his
own, unfortunately they are very good friends outside of work, so I've
tried that route with no success.
You could try talking with him and seeing if you can determine why he changed. Perhaps you have something to apologize for here. If so, it would be a good time to do that now. But your relationship may already be beyond the point of repair.
It appears that instead of talking to him directly, you chose to create a 6 month log and then took it to HR as a formal complaint. And apparently, you also went over his head and tried to complain to his boss.
It's not clear why you chose that route first rather than trying to repair the relationship, but what's done is done.
You might need to watch your back now, and start thinking about finding a new job or at least a transfer to work with another manager.
27
"It's unfortunate you didn't talk to Steve to find out why." This doesn't have enough stress. Going to HR should be a last ditch attempt; first port of call should always be talk to the person directly as they it could even just be venting other issues onto you.
– UKMonkey
yesterday
4
@UKMonkey Going to HR for interpersonal advice can be sensible depending on where it is and how exactly HR operates. It's the logging of a formal complaint with evidence and witnesses that's always burning bridges.
– Peter
yesterday
2
OP said in a comment that they did talk to Steve first.
– Konrad Rudolph
13 hours ago
3
@KonradRudolph - I don't see such a comment. Maybe it was deleted. Seems like an important piece of data that could have been in the question.
– Joe Strazzere
12 hours ago
@JoeStrazzere Yes, apparently it was deleted. Annoying.
– Konrad Rudolph
10 hours ago
add a comment |
up vote
34
down vote
up vote
34
down vote
Then everything changed. I don't know why, but I think Steve regretted
giving me the position.
I'm guessing there's more to this than just a sudden change of attitude. It's unfortunate you didn't talk to Steve to find out why.
How can I salvage/repair this situation and co-worker relationship?
Before anyone suggests it, yes my line-manager has a manager of his
own, unfortunately they are very good friends outside of work, so I've
tried that route with no success.
You could try talking with him and seeing if you can determine why he changed. Perhaps you have something to apologize for here. If so, it would be a good time to do that now. But your relationship may already be beyond the point of repair.
It appears that instead of talking to him directly, you chose to create a 6 month log and then took it to HR as a formal complaint. And apparently, you also went over his head and tried to complain to his boss.
It's not clear why you chose that route first rather than trying to repair the relationship, but what's done is done.
You might need to watch your back now, and start thinking about finding a new job or at least a transfer to work with another manager.
Then everything changed. I don't know why, but I think Steve regretted
giving me the position.
I'm guessing there's more to this than just a sudden change of attitude. It's unfortunate you didn't talk to Steve to find out why.
How can I salvage/repair this situation and co-worker relationship?
Before anyone suggests it, yes my line-manager has a manager of his
own, unfortunately they are very good friends outside of work, so I've
tried that route with no success.
You could try talking with him and seeing if you can determine why he changed. Perhaps you have something to apologize for here. If so, it would be a good time to do that now. But your relationship may already be beyond the point of repair.
It appears that instead of talking to him directly, you chose to create a 6 month log and then took it to HR as a formal complaint. And apparently, you also went over his head and tried to complain to his boss.
It's not clear why you chose that route first rather than trying to repair the relationship, but what's done is done.
You might need to watch your back now, and start thinking about finding a new job or at least a transfer to work with another manager.
edited yesterday
answered yesterday
Joe Strazzere
237k115695990
237k115695990
27
"It's unfortunate you didn't talk to Steve to find out why." This doesn't have enough stress. Going to HR should be a last ditch attempt; first port of call should always be talk to the person directly as they it could even just be venting other issues onto you.
– UKMonkey
yesterday
4
@UKMonkey Going to HR for interpersonal advice can be sensible depending on where it is and how exactly HR operates. It's the logging of a formal complaint with evidence and witnesses that's always burning bridges.
– Peter
yesterday
2
OP said in a comment that they did talk to Steve first.
– Konrad Rudolph
13 hours ago
3
@KonradRudolph - I don't see such a comment. Maybe it was deleted. Seems like an important piece of data that could have been in the question.
– Joe Strazzere
12 hours ago
@JoeStrazzere Yes, apparently it was deleted. Annoying.
– Konrad Rudolph
10 hours ago
add a comment |
27
"It's unfortunate you didn't talk to Steve to find out why." This doesn't have enough stress. Going to HR should be a last ditch attempt; first port of call should always be talk to the person directly as they it could even just be venting other issues onto you.
– UKMonkey
yesterday
4
@UKMonkey Going to HR for interpersonal advice can be sensible depending on where it is and how exactly HR operates. It's the logging of a formal complaint with evidence and witnesses that's always burning bridges.
– Peter
yesterday
2
OP said in a comment that they did talk to Steve first.
– Konrad Rudolph
13 hours ago
3
@KonradRudolph - I don't see such a comment. Maybe it was deleted. Seems like an important piece of data that could have been in the question.
– Joe Strazzere
12 hours ago
@JoeStrazzere Yes, apparently it was deleted. Annoying.
– Konrad Rudolph
10 hours ago
27
27
"It's unfortunate you didn't talk to Steve to find out why." This doesn't have enough stress. Going to HR should be a last ditch attempt; first port of call should always be talk to the person directly as they it could even just be venting other issues onto you.
– UKMonkey
yesterday
"It's unfortunate you didn't talk to Steve to find out why." This doesn't have enough stress. Going to HR should be a last ditch attempt; first port of call should always be talk to the person directly as they it could even just be venting other issues onto you.
– UKMonkey
yesterday
4
4
@UKMonkey Going to HR for interpersonal advice can be sensible depending on where it is and how exactly HR operates. It's the logging of a formal complaint with evidence and witnesses that's always burning bridges.
– Peter
yesterday
@UKMonkey Going to HR for interpersonal advice can be sensible depending on where it is and how exactly HR operates. It's the logging of a formal complaint with evidence and witnesses that's always burning bridges.
– Peter
yesterday
2
2
OP said in a comment that they did talk to Steve first.
– Konrad Rudolph
13 hours ago
OP said in a comment that they did talk to Steve first.
– Konrad Rudolph
13 hours ago
3
3
@KonradRudolph - I don't see such a comment. Maybe it was deleted. Seems like an important piece of data that could have been in the question.
– Joe Strazzere
12 hours ago
@KonradRudolph - I don't see such a comment. Maybe it was deleted. Seems like an important piece of data that could have been in the question.
– Joe Strazzere
12 hours ago
@JoeStrazzere Yes, apparently it was deleted. Annoying.
– Konrad Rudolph
10 hours ago
@JoeStrazzere Yes, apparently it was deleted. Annoying.
– Konrad Rudolph
10 hours ago
add a comment |
up vote
10
down vote
The other answers suggest you've made a mistake at some point. I tend to disagree: the situation was lost when Steve thought he could teach you to become a senior programmer and then couldn't keep his temper as he found out he couldn't do it.
Being a good programmer
...doesn't automatically mean you have good teaching skills.
I'm a programmer myself. I teach in a hackerspace in my spare time and on a few days a year in a school. Teaching needs time and patience. Also you need a whole different skill-set. Just being able to program won't cut it. If your student is to make big steps, you need to prepare your lessons.
Steve tried to recruit because he needs more people on his team to help doing his job. So when he started to teach you instead, it meant he would have even less time to do his 'real' job.
He must have found out that teaching someone else isn't as easy as he hoped and, as his frustration grew, he began to loose his temper.
Don't take it to hard on yourself
It probably isn't even anyone's fault. Take a deep breath. Look around for a new job. Take care it is the kind job you always wanted to do. Take care your future colleagues are the kind of people you want to work with.
New contributor
MadMike is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
3
This is actually what I think happened too. Thanks.
– Cloud
15 hours ago
1
In my experience, there is no amount of training that will convert a junior dev into a senior. Some people seem to be born as senior devs, and some people drag themselves there through hard experience. But "training" only results in someone knowing how to do more tasks, not having the ability to generalize to other tasks that they weren't trained in. (So I think the mistake was either/both parties thinking training => senior dev.)
– user3067860
9 hours ago
@user3067860 I don't think anyone's born a senior dev, but seniors become seniors due to varying mixtures of aptitude and experience. Experience can help to improve aptitude, but some people have enough innate aptitude to develop their skills and knowledge more quickly than others, and as such the experience factor is left less important. Someone with less aptitude will require more experience. Someone with barely any aptitude at all is not likely to become a useful senior dev in this century, but given infinite time they could probably manage it.
– Lightness Races in Orbit
1 hour ago
@user3067860 By that I mean you are largely correct - you can't "train" someone to be a senior by sitting with them and coding, not at all. If the individual is highly able and motivated then they can pick up what they need quickly ... but they were going to do that anyway, with or without Steve sitting next to them!
– Lightness Races in Orbit
1 hour ago
add a comment |
up vote
10
down vote
The other answers suggest you've made a mistake at some point. I tend to disagree: the situation was lost when Steve thought he could teach you to become a senior programmer and then couldn't keep his temper as he found out he couldn't do it.
Being a good programmer
...doesn't automatically mean you have good teaching skills.
I'm a programmer myself. I teach in a hackerspace in my spare time and on a few days a year in a school. Teaching needs time and patience. Also you need a whole different skill-set. Just being able to program won't cut it. If your student is to make big steps, you need to prepare your lessons.
Steve tried to recruit because he needs more people on his team to help doing his job. So when he started to teach you instead, it meant he would have even less time to do his 'real' job.
He must have found out that teaching someone else isn't as easy as he hoped and, as his frustration grew, he began to loose his temper.
Don't take it to hard on yourself
It probably isn't even anyone's fault. Take a deep breath. Look around for a new job. Take care it is the kind job you always wanted to do. Take care your future colleagues are the kind of people you want to work with.
New contributor
MadMike is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
3
This is actually what I think happened too. Thanks.
– Cloud
15 hours ago
1
In my experience, there is no amount of training that will convert a junior dev into a senior. Some people seem to be born as senior devs, and some people drag themselves there through hard experience. But "training" only results in someone knowing how to do more tasks, not having the ability to generalize to other tasks that they weren't trained in. (So I think the mistake was either/both parties thinking training => senior dev.)
– user3067860
9 hours ago
@user3067860 I don't think anyone's born a senior dev, but seniors become seniors due to varying mixtures of aptitude and experience. Experience can help to improve aptitude, but some people have enough innate aptitude to develop their skills and knowledge more quickly than others, and as such the experience factor is left less important. Someone with less aptitude will require more experience. Someone with barely any aptitude at all is not likely to become a useful senior dev in this century, but given infinite time they could probably manage it.
– Lightness Races in Orbit
1 hour ago
@user3067860 By that I mean you are largely correct - you can't "train" someone to be a senior by sitting with them and coding, not at all. If the individual is highly able and motivated then they can pick up what they need quickly ... but they were going to do that anyway, with or without Steve sitting next to them!
– Lightness Races in Orbit
1 hour ago
add a comment |
up vote
10
down vote
up vote
10
down vote
The other answers suggest you've made a mistake at some point. I tend to disagree: the situation was lost when Steve thought he could teach you to become a senior programmer and then couldn't keep his temper as he found out he couldn't do it.
Being a good programmer
...doesn't automatically mean you have good teaching skills.
I'm a programmer myself. I teach in a hackerspace in my spare time and on a few days a year in a school. Teaching needs time and patience. Also you need a whole different skill-set. Just being able to program won't cut it. If your student is to make big steps, you need to prepare your lessons.
Steve tried to recruit because he needs more people on his team to help doing his job. So when he started to teach you instead, it meant he would have even less time to do his 'real' job.
He must have found out that teaching someone else isn't as easy as he hoped and, as his frustration grew, he began to loose his temper.
Don't take it to hard on yourself
It probably isn't even anyone's fault. Take a deep breath. Look around for a new job. Take care it is the kind job you always wanted to do. Take care your future colleagues are the kind of people you want to work with.
New contributor
MadMike is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
The other answers suggest you've made a mistake at some point. I tend to disagree: the situation was lost when Steve thought he could teach you to become a senior programmer and then couldn't keep his temper as he found out he couldn't do it.
Being a good programmer
...doesn't automatically mean you have good teaching skills.
I'm a programmer myself. I teach in a hackerspace in my spare time and on a few days a year in a school. Teaching needs time and patience. Also you need a whole different skill-set. Just being able to program won't cut it. If your student is to make big steps, you need to prepare your lessons.
Steve tried to recruit because he needs more people on his team to help doing his job. So when he started to teach you instead, it meant he would have even less time to do his 'real' job.
He must have found out that teaching someone else isn't as easy as he hoped and, as his frustration grew, he began to loose his temper.
Don't take it to hard on yourself
It probably isn't even anyone's fault. Take a deep breath. Look around for a new job. Take care it is the kind job you always wanted to do. Take care your future colleagues are the kind of people you want to work with.
New contributor
MadMike is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
edited 10 hours ago
kubanczyk
1,511913
1,511913
New contributor
MadMike is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
answered 17 hours ago
MadMike
20115
20115
New contributor
MadMike is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
New contributor
MadMike is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
MadMike is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
3
This is actually what I think happened too. Thanks.
– Cloud
15 hours ago
1
In my experience, there is no amount of training that will convert a junior dev into a senior. Some people seem to be born as senior devs, and some people drag themselves there through hard experience. But "training" only results in someone knowing how to do more tasks, not having the ability to generalize to other tasks that they weren't trained in. (So I think the mistake was either/both parties thinking training => senior dev.)
– user3067860
9 hours ago
@user3067860 I don't think anyone's born a senior dev, but seniors become seniors due to varying mixtures of aptitude and experience. Experience can help to improve aptitude, but some people have enough innate aptitude to develop their skills and knowledge more quickly than others, and as such the experience factor is left less important. Someone with less aptitude will require more experience. Someone with barely any aptitude at all is not likely to become a useful senior dev in this century, but given infinite time they could probably manage it.
– Lightness Races in Orbit
1 hour ago
@user3067860 By that I mean you are largely correct - you can't "train" someone to be a senior by sitting with them and coding, not at all. If the individual is highly able and motivated then they can pick up what they need quickly ... but they were going to do that anyway, with or without Steve sitting next to them!
– Lightness Races in Orbit
1 hour ago
add a comment |
3
This is actually what I think happened too. Thanks.
– Cloud
15 hours ago
1
In my experience, there is no amount of training that will convert a junior dev into a senior. Some people seem to be born as senior devs, and some people drag themselves there through hard experience. But "training" only results in someone knowing how to do more tasks, not having the ability to generalize to other tasks that they weren't trained in. (So I think the mistake was either/both parties thinking training => senior dev.)
– user3067860
9 hours ago
@user3067860 I don't think anyone's born a senior dev, but seniors become seniors due to varying mixtures of aptitude and experience. Experience can help to improve aptitude, but some people have enough innate aptitude to develop their skills and knowledge more quickly than others, and as such the experience factor is left less important. Someone with less aptitude will require more experience. Someone with barely any aptitude at all is not likely to become a useful senior dev in this century, but given infinite time they could probably manage it.
– Lightness Races in Orbit
1 hour ago
@user3067860 By that I mean you are largely correct - you can't "train" someone to be a senior by sitting with them and coding, not at all. If the individual is highly able and motivated then they can pick up what they need quickly ... but they were going to do that anyway, with or without Steve sitting next to them!
– Lightness Races in Orbit
1 hour ago
3
3
This is actually what I think happened too. Thanks.
– Cloud
15 hours ago
This is actually what I think happened too. Thanks.
– Cloud
15 hours ago
1
1
In my experience, there is no amount of training that will convert a junior dev into a senior. Some people seem to be born as senior devs, and some people drag themselves there through hard experience. But "training" only results in someone knowing how to do more tasks, not having the ability to generalize to other tasks that they weren't trained in. (So I think the mistake was either/both parties thinking training => senior dev.)
– user3067860
9 hours ago
In my experience, there is no amount of training that will convert a junior dev into a senior. Some people seem to be born as senior devs, and some people drag themselves there through hard experience. But "training" only results in someone knowing how to do more tasks, not having the ability to generalize to other tasks that they weren't trained in. (So I think the mistake was either/both parties thinking training => senior dev.)
– user3067860
9 hours ago
@user3067860 I don't think anyone's born a senior dev, but seniors become seniors due to varying mixtures of aptitude and experience. Experience can help to improve aptitude, but some people have enough innate aptitude to develop their skills and knowledge more quickly than others, and as such the experience factor is left less important. Someone with less aptitude will require more experience. Someone with barely any aptitude at all is not likely to become a useful senior dev in this century, but given infinite time they could probably manage it.
– Lightness Races in Orbit
1 hour ago
@user3067860 I don't think anyone's born a senior dev, but seniors become seniors due to varying mixtures of aptitude and experience. Experience can help to improve aptitude, but some people have enough innate aptitude to develop their skills and knowledge more quickly than others, and as such the experience factor is left less important. Someone with less aptitude will require more experience. Someone with barely any aptitude at all is not likely to become a useful senior dev in this century, but given infinite time they could probably manage it.
– Lightness Races in Orbit
1 hour ago
@user3067860 By that I mean you are largely correct - you can't "train" someone to be a senior by sitting with them and coding, not at all. If the individual is highly able and motivated then they can pick up what they need quickly ... but they were going to do that anyway, with or without Steve sitting next to them!
– Lightness Races in Orbit
1 hour ago
@user3067860 By that I mean you are largely correct - you can't "train" someone to be a senior by sitting with them and coding, not at all. If the individual is highly able and motivated then they can pick up what they need quickly ... but they were going to do that anyway, with or without Steve sitting next to them!
– Lightness Races in Orbit
1 hour ago
add a comment |
up vote
7
down vote
OP I'm sorry but I think that the "investigation" was basically over in a week. You were given 9 weeks to begin searching for a new job, which you did not take the hint for. I say this because software developers are not a resource that is wasted lightly.
Update your resume and start looking immediately, additionally note how your other coworkers are treating you; you'll need to get references from someone at this company who is not Steve or in the HR hierarchy who have dismissed your claims of harassment.
1
This might be a good time to switch to contracting, where references are not asked for (in my few decades of experience, but YMMV).
– Mawg
17 hours ago
add a comment |
up vote
7
down vote
OP I'm sorry but I think that the "investigation" was basically over in a week. You were given 9 weeks to begin searching for a new job, which you did not take the hint for. I say this because software developers are not a resource that is wasted lightly.
Update your resume and start looking immediately, additionally note how your other coworkers are treating you; you'll need to get references from someone at this company who is not Steve or in the HR hierarchy who have dismissed your claims of harassment.
1
This might be a good time to switch to contracting, where references are not asked for (in my few decades of experience, but YMMV).
– Mawg
17 hours ago
add a comment |
up vote
7
down vote
up vote
7
down vote
OP I'm sorry but I think that the "investigation" was basically over in a week. You were given 9 weeks to begin searching for a new job, which you did not take the hint for. I say this because software developers are not a resource that is wasted lightly.
Update your resume and start looking immediately, additionally note how your other coworkers are treating you; you'll need to get references from someone at this company who is not Steve or in the HR hierarchy who have dismissed your claims of harassment.
OP I'm sorry but I think that the "investigation" was basically over in a week. You were given 9 weeks to begin searching for a new job, which you did not take the hint for. I say this because software developers are not a resource that is wasted lightly.
Update your resume and start looking immediately, additionally note how your other coworkers are treating you; you'll need to get references from someone at this company who is not Steve or in the HR hierarchy who have dismissed your claims of harassment.
edited 22 hours ago
answered 22 hours ago
C Bauer
553212
553212
1
This might be a good time to switch to contracting, where references are not asked for (in my few decades of experience, but YMMV).
– Mawg
17 hours ago
add a comment |
1
This might be a good time to switch to contracting, where references are not asked for (in my few decades of experience, but YMMV).
– Mawg
17 hours ago
1
1
This might be a good time to switch to contracting, where references are not asked for (in my few decades of experience, but YMMV).
– Mawg
17 hours ago
This might be a good time to switch to contracting, where references are not asked for (in my few decades of experience, but YMMV).
– Mawg
17 hours ago
add a comment |
up vote
5
down vote
Unfortunately you may need to find a new job now, but at least your job title has "senior" in it and you have plenty of time to search. Remember that you only need to put "Senior Software Developer at Company X 20XX-present" on your CV.
You mention that you are logging your boss' behaviour, so keep doing that. In particular your requests for meetings, so that if they try to claim your performance is poor later you can cite the lack of work and repeated requests for it as the reason. At least in Europe they can't fire you when the boss is doing that to you, it would be constructive dismissal.
As to salvaging your current situation, could you ask for an internal transfer? If not, your only real option is to go back to HR and complain about a hostile work environment where you are unable to get any work or progress your career, due to retaliation. That is a serious situation, you could escalate it to a tribunal, so they should deal with it in a way that doesn't disadvantage you.
add a comment |
up vote
5
down vote
Unfortunately you may need to find a new job now, but at least your job title has "senior" in it and you have plenty of time to search. Remember that you only need to put "Senior Software Developer at Company X 20XX-present" on your CV.
You mention that you are logging your boss' behaviour, so keep doing that. In particular your requests for meetings, so that if they try to claim your performance is poor later you can cite the lack of work and repeated requests for it as the reason. At least in Europe they can't fire you when the boss is doing that to you, it would be constructive dismissal.
As to salvaging your current situation, could you ask for an internal transfer? If not, your only real option is to go back to HR and complain about a hostile work environment where you are unable to get any work or progress your career, due to retaliation. That is a serious situation, you could escalate it to a tribunal, so they should deal with it in a way that doesn't disadvantage you.
add a comment |
up vote
5
down vote
up vote
5
down vote
Unfortunately you may need to find a new job now, but at least your job title has "senior" in it and you have plenty of time to search. Remember that you only need to put "Senior Software Developer at Company X 20XX-present" on your CV.
You mention that you are logging your boss' behaviour, so keep doing that. In particular your requests for meetings, so that if they try to claim your performance is poor later you can cite the lack of work and repeated requests for it as the reason. At least in Europe they can't fire you when the boss is doing that to you, it would be constructive dismissal.
As to salvaging your current situation, could you ask for an internal transfer? If not, your only real option is to go back to HR and complain about a hostile work environment where you are unable to get any work or progress your career, due to retaliation. That is a serious situation, you could escalate it to a tribunal, so they should deal with it in a way that doesn't disadvantage you.
Unfortunately you may need to find a new job now, but at least your job title has "senior" in it and you have plenty of time to search. Remember that you only need to put "Senior Software Developer at Company X 20XX-present" on your CV.
You mention that you are logging your boss' behaviour, so keep doing that. In particular your requests for meetings, so that if they try to claim your performance is poor later you can cite the lack of work and repeated requests for it as the reason. At least in Europe they can't fire you when the boss is doing that to you, it would be constructive dismissal.
As to salvaging your current situation, could you ask for an internal transfer? If not, your only real option is to go back to HR and complain about a hostile work environment where you are unable to get any work or progress your career, due to retaliation. That is a serious situation, you could escalate it to a tribunal, so they should deal with it in a way that doesn't disadvantage you.
answered 15 hours ago
user
2,0361715
2,0361715
add a comment |
add a comment |
up vote
2
down vote
Your manager acted petty (or maybe you did not understand the situation completely but let's assume you are right), but your question is unjustified now. If you wanted to salvage the relation, that should have been your first approach rather than going to HR. By going to HR you made an implicit judgment that the relationship was not salvageable in the first place.
However, even though you could (and should) have picked a better response to your manager's behavior, I don't think it is all only your fault.
It is unfortunate that your colleagues couched when asked formally by HR. Also, it is unfortunate that your manager's manager preferred taking his friend's side rather than taking the right side.
Since the relation is not salvageable unless someone has a sudden change of heart and this guy in question is your manager, the best direction is to get a new job.
It may be bitter tasting but it is the next best thing that can happen to you.
add a comment |
up vote
2
down vote
Your manager acted petty (or maybe you did not understand the situation completely but let's assume you are right), but your question is unjustified now. If you wanted to salvage the relation, that should have been your first approach rather than going to HR. By going to HR you made an implicit judgment that the relationship was not salvageable in the first place.
However, even though you could (and should) have picked a better response to your manager's behavior, I don't think it is all only your fault.
It is unfortunate that your colleagues couched when asked formally by HR. Also, it is unfortunate that your manager's manager preferred taking his friend's side rather than taking the right side.
Since the relation is not salvageable unless someone has a sudden change of heart and this guy in question is your manager, the best direction is to get a new job.
It may be bitter tasting but it is the next best thing that can happen to you.
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up vote
2
down vote
up vote
2
down vote
Your manager acted petty (or maybe you did not understand the situation completely but let's assume you are right), but your question is unjustified now. If you wanted to salvage the relation, that should have been your first approach rather than going to HR. By going to HR you made an implicit judgment that the relationship was not salvageable in the first place.
However, even though you could (and should) have picked a better response to your manager's behavior, I don't think it is all only your fault.
It is unfortunate that your colleagues couched when asked formally by HR. Also, it is unfortunate that your manager's manager preferred taking his friend's side rather than taking the right side.
Since the relation is not salvageable unless someone has a sudden change of heart and this guy in question is your manager, the best direction is to get a new job.
It may be bitter tasting but it is the next best thing that can happen to you.
Your manager acted petty (or maybe you did not understand the situation completely but let's assume you are right), but your question is unjustified now. If you wanted to salvage the relation, that should have been your first approach rather than going to HR. By going to HR you made an implicit judgment that the relationship was not salvageable in the first place.
However, even though you could (and should) have picked a better response to your manager's behavior, I don't think it is all only your fault.
It is unfortunate that your colleagues couched when asked formally by HR. Also, it is unfortunate that your manager's manager preferred taking his friend's side rather than taking the right side.
Since the relation is not salvageable unless someone has a sudden change of heart and this guy in question is your manager, the best direction is to get a new job.
It may be bitter tasting but it is the next best thing that can happen to you.
answered yesterday
displayName
1465
1465
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Check the work legislation of your country. In Spain, an employer must provide adequate tasks to their employees. If your employer is not providing you any task, this could be consider as mobbing -which is what they are actually doing, to force you to leave the company. An employee can claim to have work.
Of course, you are in a bad position. If I were in your situation and this was a small company, I would be thinking about leaving. But if this is a big company, maybe my dream company, then being moved to another department would be ok for me. If you speak with HR and expose this as a case of mobbing, then they may take you more seriously. No company wants to be in the media because of mobbing. On the other hand, if you are thinking about quitting, this can give you a better position to negotiate an exit with a compensation.
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add a comment |
up vote
2
down vote
Check the work legislation of your country. In Spain, an employer must provide adequate tasks to their employees. If your employer is not providing you any task, this could be consider as mobbing -which is what they are actually doing, to force you to leave the company. An employee can claim to have work.
Of course, you are in a bad position. If I were in your situation and this was a small company, I would be thinking about leaving. But if this is a big company, maybe my dream company, then being moved to another department would be ok for me. If you speak with HR and expose this as a case of mobbing, then they may take you more seriously. No company wants to be in the media because of mobbing. On the other hand, if you are thinking about quitting, this can give you a better position to negotiate an exit with a compensation.
New contributor
Josi is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
add a comment |
up vote
2
down vote
up vote
2
down vote
Check the work legislation of your country. In Spain, an employer must provide adequate tasks to their employees. If your employer is not providing you any task, this could be consider as mobbing -which is what they are actually doing, to force you to leave the company. An employee can claim to have work.
Of course, you are in a bad position. If I were in your situation and this was a small company, I would be thinking about leaving. But if this is a big company, maybe my dream company, then being moved to another department would be ok for me. If you speak with HR and expose this as a case of mobbing, then they may take you more seriously. No company wants to be in the media because of mobbing. On the other hand, if you are thinking about quitting, this can give you a better position to negotiate an exit with a compensation.
New contributor
Josi is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
Check the work legislation of your country. In Spain, an employer must provide adequate tasks to their employees. If your employer is not providing you any task, this could be consider as mobbing -which is what they are actually doing, to force you to leave the company. An employee can claim to have work.
Of course, you are in a bad position. If I were in your situation and this was a small company, I would be thinking about leaving. But if this is a big company, maybe my dream company, then being moved to another department would be ok for me. If you speak with HR and expose this as a case of mobbing, then they may take you more seriously. No company wants to be in the media because of mobbing. On the other hand, if you are thinking about quitting, this can give you a better position to negotiate an exit with a compensation.
New contributor
Josi is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
New contributor
Josi is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
answered 11 hours ago
Josi
211
211
New contributor
Josi is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
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New contributor
Josi is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
Josi is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
add a comment |
add a comment |
up vote
0
down vote
You could just do one last thing. Go to a doctor, get a sick leave for a few month because of whatever reason and look for alternatives.
add a comment |
up vote
0
down vote
You could just do one last thing. Go to a doctor, get a sick leave for a few month because of whatever reason and look for alternatives.
add a comment |
up vote
0
down vote
up vote
0
down vote
You could just do one last thing. Go to a doctor, get a sick leave for a few month because of whatever reason and look for alternatives.
You could just do one last thing. Go to a doctor, get a sick leave for a few month because of whatever reason and look for alternatives.
answered 11 hours ago
dgrat
10516
10516
add a comment |
add a comment |
Cloud is a new contributor. Be nice, and check out our Code of Conduct.
Cloud is a new contributor. Be nice, and check out our Code of Conduct.
Cloud is a new contributor. Be nice, and check out our Code of Conduct.
Cloud is a new contributor. Be nice, and check out our Code of Conduct.
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4
@Cloud well, in your question you don't mention any attempts of "sorting it out". In fact, your words "I didn't pick much up this way, but could tell he was trying to teach, so felt bad to say anything" explicitly contradict it.
– IMil
22 hours ago
6
What country? Employment laws may be relevant.
– user
15 hours ago
@user OP has indicated on Aviation (specifically in LAPL vs PPL - Which is more suitable?) on Oct 5 '18 that they were in the UK. So this seems very likely to be UK.
– a CVn
6 hours ago
I don't want to sound like a jerk, but it isn't shocking that your coworkers took your boss's side over yours. Think about what they have to gain by picking your side (not much) and what they have to lose if they go against Steve (their job, mortgage, etc.) And if this site could make a shirt for its members, it would probably say "HR IS NOT YOUR FRIEND" in big bold letters. And the truth is, your coworkers are only your friends insofar as it is convenient to them. This comment is quite broad, but contains a valuable lesson that unfortunately you had to learn the hard way =(
– corsiKa
50 mins ago